Archive for December, 2005

Christmas: Black and White

December 28, 2005 | Filed under: La Madre

Moi

In the true spirit of Christmas, Peg
gives away our childhood to my five
year old cousin. This includes beloved
classics “Corduroy” and “No Roses for Harry”.
Garrett and I cry and wonder if she’ll sing
Frere Jacques to he as well. Gone is the
childhood. This will be a recurring theme
of the holiday. Bah humbug..

Debunking the myth:
we’re black and that’s fried chicken.
There’s koolaid in the fridge
I wish I were kidding.

Is that Ryan Atwood (from The O.C.)? Why yes, I think that it is. Are those some hot fuzzy slippers? Why yes I think they are. Is that HB sitting on her ass at 5:30 PM? But of course. Because that my friends, is what VA.CA.TION. is all about.

Oh christmas tree.
G and Peg picked it out all by themselves. I was so proud.
You can’t tell here, but all of the people ornaments are black; all except one that is. The little white baby in the cradle is from my first Christmas. Yeah…

G lovingly gives me the finger. That’s the spirit. Look at that smile.
The little shit got a 3.7 last semester.

So that there is Christmas in a nutshell. Food and my family and also a lovely Christmas gift that I cannot speak of. But let me tell you, it’s the gift that’ll keep on giving.
I really enjoy being elusive. It’s fun.

HOLLA!days

December 27, 2005 | Filed under: La Madre

“Holidays are enticing only for the first week or so. After that, it is no longer such a novelty to rise late and have little to do.” ~Margaret Laurence

When I first read about it, I thought that I could never become afflicted with the dreaded illness. I thought that I could get through the holidays and keep everything status quo. But alas my friends, it has happened. I’ve become one of the evil bloggers who cannot blog while on vacation. And when I do finally put up a post*, it doesn’t look the same in Firefox as it does in Explorer. Blow me.

God damn narcissism; I write about myself and what’s going on in MY life. What if nothing is going on? Do you really care to read about how I spend a vacation in upstate NY? I sit and watch hours and hours worth of Law and Order and the OC. I go shopping at Woodbury Commons and then I sit on my ass some more. I think of some good resolutions (that I may or may not be sharing with you people…I might jinx myself) and go to Fridays. I endure conversations comparing one Louis Vuitton bag to another and contemplate ways to kill myself now that I’ve lost 45 minutes of my life “there’s $1800 worth of bags on the table”. Lord. I also contemplate going skiing, but alas not. I’d rather be golfing and no, I don’t own snowpants.

There you have it; my first post-collegiate Christmas Vacation. Honestly, the same as before, just on a shorter scale, which means that I am forced to get my ass into gear, venture out and face the masses. Oh, the horror! Except this time there were no grades to check, no GPA’s to worry about. There will be no books to purchase or new group projects with stupid whores (oops did I say that outloud?) to worry about. I’m at that point in the vacation where I know that in just a few days, things will start anew, but I’m still in a semi-rut. But have no fear my friends, I will return just as snarky, witty and lovely as ever; and you will remember this vacation of mine, when I was nowhere to be found and you will think longingly and wonder why I came back in the first place.

Lucky me. Lucky you.

*for those of you who may be drinking and reading at the same time ::ahem:: I will repost my last post when I can get it to not look retarted. Put the pinot down…

Repeat the Sounding Joy

December 22, 2005 | Filed under: La Madre

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

A few years ago, I happened upon my parents divorce agreement. For the record, Peg had given me explicit permission to go into her top drawer, in case I needed to find out where her will and power of attorney agreements were located. Anyway, when I found her divorce agreement and of course read through it, I learned that my father was to get my brother and I every other weekend. Holidays looked a bit murky and from what I gather, they were given to my mother, but by the grace of God, it never seemed that way. While Thanksgiving we’ve always spent in our home, Christmas has been one of constant tradition. One that I have diligently kept for the past 17 years.

Around 11, my father comes to pick up my brother and I from my mother’s house. We then go to lunch (we’ve upgraded from McDonald’s to the food court and now with my Oceanaire eating palate, I think we might trade up to Houlihan’s). After lunch comes the best part of the day; the movies. It’s like the one movie visit I look forward to all year. Sure I go every weekend, but for some reason going to the movies on Christmas Eve with my father and brother is one of my favorites. Garrett and I watch and my father drifts in and out of slumber, maybe even snoring a few times intermittently. After the movies and walking around the mall, we head home. Now, I suspect that the origin of this holiday tradition was so my mother could wrap our presents without us underfoot. When we get home, there are presents set in neat piles (I get the left side of the tree, Garrett gets the middle, and my mother gets the right side). In our rooms are our new pajamas, slippers and another part of our ornament collection. I collect Pooh ornaments. The rest of the evening is church and my mother’s best friends Christmas party. Two words: Bourbon. Balls.

Come Christmas morning, we have – without fail – required that my father schlep back to our house and be there promptly at 8AM. We’re now, 22 and 19 and he’ll still be required to be at our house by 8 AM. If he’s there later, I have no problem starting without him. Garrett, wakes me up in the morning, by climbing into my bed. He’s now twice the size of me, but my God, I look forward to it every time.

I’ve not written about Christmas, because in all honesty, I get too excited about Christmas to write a coherent sentence. How am I to write about how fucking happy this holiday makes me and that I LOVE (fucking love) hearing Carol of the Bells every day?

I hope that y’all have some kick ass holidays. Here’s hoping to a new Coach bag and a vcr/dvd player.

Blogology

December 21, 2005 | Filed under: La Madre

Yesterday upon leaving work, I whipped out a Marlboro. Not only had it been a tedious day, but I was just pissed in general, the tip of the iceberg being blogger. Fuckheads. Yes, blogger pissed me off yesterday, to the point that when I got home and had fretted about how it was going to be a pain in the ass to move all my shit to typepad and then have 30 people change their link to my blog on their blog and the thoughts that they would forget about me and all would be lost. Yes, this shit stressed me out.

My blog has started to run my life.

I never thought I’d utter those words and that I would read an email with the subject heading EMERGENCY! From a fellow blogger* – upset about sitemeter no less – and think of that as an actual emergency.

Is there something wrong with me in these cases? When Sir Bone gave me the solution to my blogger problem, I blew a kiss southward to Alabama, because really, that shit was pissing me off. So maybe I am a little odd, though I’ve never claimed not to be. Maybe I enjoy blogging a little too much and even when it pisses me off and I can’t find anything interesting to write about, I still get a little sad about leaving the blogosphere. I can’t tell you all how many times I’ve been so very close to deleting the blog. I don’t know, I guess it’s just the nature of the beast. And no matter where I go, I’ll always have a love hate relationship with blogging. But it’s always nice to know that I’m not the only one.

*update*
When reading this, I was a little worried about what not to share about my blogging habits and what to share. For example, if I’m at an event or doing something, I start to write the blog entry in my head. And like Bone said in my comments, if I don’t like my current blog entry, I’ll think about it all day long. Also, now that I’ve been linked to other blogs which have considerably higher traffic than I, I’m now starting to get worried that their readers will hate me. For example, Amalah readers who think I’m going to be just as funny and witty. HA! I’m so not. But I can tell you how craptacular life is during the Quarter Life Crisis and that I have to babysit, even though I love Noah, because I’m broke. But other than that, so not funny.

Now, dear blovers, what are your blog issues? Do tell.

*update 2*
have I mentioned that I really love sitemeter? Like really. So please delurk and say ‘Hi’.
Speaking of sitemeter, someone found my blog by looking up “fuck babysitter” on MSN.com and also by searching for “dealing with disgruntle co-workers”. For the record, I’m not getting any and my co-workers aren’t disgruntle. Sorry to disappoint.
Also I’ve just made it so people who don’t have blogger accounts can comment. So delurk!

*this blogger shall remain nameless

You all are getting a present-update*

December 20, 2005 | Filed under: La Madre

…just give me until saturday, you’ll have it by sunday morning. Just in time for the big day(s).

For now, just sit back and enjoy…

I love keeping secrets.

::insert maniacal laugh here::

*update
You won’t be getting a present because the present was typepad, but Sir Bone is not only witty, but he’s also brilliant and now I won’t have to shove my foot up blogger’s ass. But now I’m a little sad because I was all looking forward to my new pretty typepad blog (http://nopasanada.typepad.com) but now I’ll have to save my $5 a month for something important, like venti chai lattes. And my neverending quest to form my very own Coach store in my condo.