Reboot

By nopasanada | Published: March 16, 2012

*NEW SITE ALERT*


“We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.” ~Lynn Hall

I started blogging because I was bored. Bored and working for Howard Dean which meant that I would have a million stories to tell and I wanted one spot to put those stories instead of repeating the story over and over again adding in great flourish with each telling. I wanted one spot for the typical ennui and uncertainty that comes from graduating from college and getting your first job. I read back on entries from August of 2005 and wonder who that girl was? Though, I suppose, that when it comes down to it, I remain pretty much the same. I look the same, save for a few gray hairs and an extra few pounds on my hips. But I’m no longer diving into the great unknown of adulthood. I’m here. Comfortably treading water. Of course I sputter a bit but doesn’t everyone? For the most part it’s floating, waves come, I sink a bit and then I bob right back to the surface.

In 2005 I would have told you everything with little care as to who might be reading. In 2005 I would have written five entries on the same topic just so you really understood that I was angry. I wouldn’t internalize or think before typing. It would all just be out there for the world to see and if questioned, 21 year old me would have said, “I’m just telling my truth and how I feel” everyone else be damned. It’s how 21 year olds think or actually they just don’t. I would have wanted to be honest so that all 38 of my readers would like me. I wanted to use the word ‘fuck’ in every other sentence just to get a reaction and show you how ‘real’ I am.

Maybe I’m not ‘real’ anymore or honest. Or maybe I no longer need the attention or to do things for shock value. Perhaps I see myself as something more, and my life – singular as it may seem – as a thread of someone else’s life. And so on and so forth. I can’t vomit words anymore or tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth because – as it has taken me almost seven years to realize – nothing is just about me. Oh, it might feel like it at times. Especially as when I go through what feels like an eternity of utter loneliness. In 2005 at 21 I would have flopped on my bed claiming that my life is OVERRRRRRRR. In 2012 at 28 things right now are far from perfect. In fact the things are running circles around perfect, with tongues wagging screaming “YOU CAN’T CATCH ME!” And yet there is nothing in my head telling me to share. I am now more inclined to keep things close to the vest. No one needs to know everything at that very second. I feel inclined to think before I put something in words. Most importantly, I’ve realized that so much of my personal life is just that, personal.

It’s no secret that as my life has changed and almost seven years have past that this site would inevitably change along with everything else. Which brings me to this day – a new site, a new focus, a new source of inspiration. Other changes on the horizon. I’m happy to see what I was at 21 morph into what I am at 28. I have always said that if anything, I am happy to have a very detailed account of my 20′s. My 20′s are almost over but – and permission to be cliché – so much is just beginning. I hope you’ll come with me to see what’s next.

***
New sites, new info:

For Poliogue’s feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/Poliogue
For No Pasa Nada’s feed (because you hate all things politics): http://feeds.feedburner.com/No-Pasa-Nada
New Facebook, too: http://www.facebook.com/HeatherLBarmore

Posted in Blogology, Poliogue | Leave a comment

Whitney in Acapella

By nopasanada | Published: February 12, 2012

“Everyone falls in love sometime
Sometimes it’s wrong, and sometimes it’s right
For every win, someone must fail
But there comes a point when
When we exhale”

 

Stop everything you are doing right now and go to this: http://jakefogelnest.com/post/17460767716

I promise it will be worth your time and you might want to have some kleenex handy.

Then after you do that you might want to download the Preacher’s Wife soundtrack because the Whitney Houston/Georgia Mass Choir combination will make your heart go BOOM!

Posted in Humdrum | Leave a comment

What I Wore: Altitude Design Summit

By nopasanada | Published: February 5, 2012

“Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper’s Bazaar while waiting at the dentist’s to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement.  My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, ‘Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won’t Be Naked.’”  ~Molly Ivins

Should you decide to attend a conference of primarily design, fashion and style bloggers, it would behoove you to dress the part. You don’t have to go as far as the top knot, stripy shirt, red lipstick, statement necklace and vintage Buddy Holly glasses but, you know, pretend. Or at least I did. Though looking back at some of my outfits it was more like Trryyyyyyyying! Whoops! Too hard! Go back!

A few weeks before the conference I paired a plain black dress with purple tights, stacked black patent leather heels and a chain link statement necklace. I didn’t think it was terribly exciting as I spent the day scrolling through Alts of years past and I knew what I would be up against in the fashion department. But, I shit you not, people were mesmerized by the purple tights. Like they’d never seen a 64 box of crayons or something. Then there was the day that I wore a muted orange a-line corduroy skirt, Frye boots, and an olive green 3/4 sleeve v-neck and Former Roommate said – and I quote – “So…you just decided that that…goes together?” I spent the rest of that day staring in the mirror in the ladies’ room thinking that I might be color blind.

For the record it isn’t me – I mean, it probably is me in that I often can’t dress myself and then I’ll call Susan in a panic and she’s like “I’ve got two kids and a husband and a fucking job. Get out of here with that shit.” Except it’s Susan so she doesn’t say ‘shit’. Regardless it can be touch and go but sometimes I show up to the office wear pops of color and you’d think I just walked in with vomit on my clothes. No. IT’S JUST PINK, y’all. Keep it moving. The thing is that ti’s fun and I enjoy wearing adorable brooches on visits to legislators while everyone wears black. At least they’ll remember me.

So here’s what I wore to ALT. Full disclosure there’s no photo of the last day because I was too busy trying to keep snow from falling down my butt crack each time I bent down to buckle the strap on my snowboard. If you really want to know I wore a Columbia Jacket (you guys! the fleece part comes out and then there’s a separate shell and the hood comes off and it’s straight up mind-boggling) and REI snow pants that didn’t fit properly but what are ya gonna do? Every other day went something like this:

Wednesday Evening

Activity: Dinner with Deb and Laurie at a tapas bar. You know how first night of conferences are: everyone is pretty drunk on liquor and excitement so who cares what you were wearing just that you were huggable. (I’m looking at you Megan Reardon)

Top: Target. I saw it on Brittany first and then found it at the Target in Brooklyn which is a whole ‘nother story and oh my hell. Don’t ever do it.
Pants: Super Flares from the GAP
Wine glass: Grand America hotel. There’s a Beaujolais in there if you must know.
Nails: Done at the Grand America Spa. The color was called ‘Be Happy’. A perfect occasion if ever there was one.

Thursday Day

Activity: Conference stuff. People will see you in the daylight. Be prepared.

Jacket: Forever 21
Tunic: Forever 21
Jeans: GAP jeggings
Shoes (unseen): Gold pointy flats.

Thursday Evening

Activity: Dinner En Blanc. Have you ever tried to find white clothing in January? It was far more difficult than I expected but when it all came together in that ballroom it was magical. Quick story: As Holly and I approached the room the first thing out of her mouth was “Wow! There’s a lot of white people in here!” and I promptly died because it was Utah and there were a lot of white people and so she is very observant that one.

Top: GAP
Skirt: GAP. A flouncy, gold skirt with pockets. I die.
Headband: Forever 21 (you can’t see that it’s cream and gold weaved together but it is)
Pearls: Mikimoto
Giant fluffy pin: Shop Bando (I love, love, love that place)
Cobalt blue clutch: ASOS

Friday Day

Activity: Conferencing and Karen would be taking my photo so I just needed my top half to look OK. And it worked! Though I was conflicted about this outfit; it felt like too much but I was super comfy but I was totally trying, possibly over trying.

Top: GAP
Necklace: Anthropologie
Skirt: GAP. Again with the pockets.
Belt: Forever 21. I have no shame.
Tights: GAP
Boots: Bandolino via Endless

Friday Evening

Activity: Parties! Lots of parties! And I take notes of how different conferences do things in the event that I ever plan a conference. They were these adorable sponsored suite parties so you went from suite to suite – each with a different theme – chatted away and then went onto the next one. The Girls With Glasses whom I had not heard of until this conference did a full on French theme. Y’all, there was gelato AND and excessive amount of cheese and I was so happy. So. So happy. So much brie.

Dress: Forever 21

I know it’s a terrible photo but it was just a black belted dress with pockets. I wore blue suede wedges because I needed to be tall but comfortable. And if all else fails: Wear red lipstick. No one will really care what you’re wearing because they’ll be far too mesmerized by your luscious lips. It’s true. Try it.

Posted in What I Wore | 3 Comments

#34: Learn to Snowboard

By nopasanada | Published: January 22, 2012

“Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.” ~Chinese Proverb

Spoiler Alert! I’ve been limping around airports all morning stopping every few feet to massage my right hip. For some inexplicable reason my right shoulder is aching as well and then there’s the wrist problem. No matter because I had fun. In every sense of the word I enjoyed, I smiled, played, fell on my butt and kept on keeping on.

Rewind to about a month ago when I ran into a colleague while in the break room to grab eyeglass cleaner and cold medicine. She asked what I had planned for the weekend and I shrugged. Nothing. She looked at me dismayed and said that she figured I’d be going to some amazing party somewhere that no one knew about. No. I was going to do some amazing cleaning and sleeping and I was going to rock my Netflix queue. She shook her head because here I was this 28 year old woman. Childless. Single. Completely free. And I was going to spend my weekend scrubbing my kitchen floor. This could not stand, man. She told me that I really needed to…you know…get out more. To be adventurous. I’d still have fun later, she said, even married with children but it would be a different kind of fun. Right now I have everything at my fingertips and as I write those words I forget how true that is. I get so caught up in the day-to-day and trying to keep my shit together even when my brain doesn’t want to cooperate so I forget about just living. It sounds so cliche but the thing about cliches is that they’re often true. So, I thanked her and the following week I decided that during my trip to Utah for Alt I would go snowboarding.

Now would be a good time to mention that I am a creature of habit. I eat the same things and go to the same restaurants almost everyday to the point where it’s like Cheers and everyone know my name. I have a favorite bartender and a favorite drink. I drive the same route to work. Talk to the same people. I like the routine and with bipolar disorder I need it. That said, I’ve become the most boring person you will ever meet in life. I mean, I know I can make things sound super exciting with all the exclamation points and OMGGUESSWHOIJUSTSAW in the world but damn. Not much is going on over here. For me to step outside of my comfort zone would be all great leap forward and shit. So…I just did it.

I, Heather Barmore, was going to do something I had never done before and was totally fucking terrified of. I did it. It was thrilling. I didn’t, like, become a new person so yeah, during my first run I panicked at the top of the mountain and promptly walked down the side to a lodge and took a shuttle – snowboard in hand – back to the lift but still. I tried. I took a lesson, I got on that snowboard and I made that sucker my bitch and I have a bruise on my ass to prove it.

It was awesome.

*Huge shout out to Solitude Resort and Alt for the lift tickets and good time. And instructor Mike for being very patient and telling me that I looked cool while riding.

Posted in Life List | 8 Comments

“I think I could fall madly in bed with you”

By nopasanada | Published: January 18, 2012

“I think I could fall madly in bed with you.”  ~Author Unknown

The end of the 2011 was lovely and then 2012 came and blew my face off with it’s awfulness. Not real awfulness but the type where things keep piling up and then one day you tell your mother to get the fuck off of you as you hop out of moving car. And then you get to walk a mile in the cold without a coat but your body is heated by so much anger. SO MUCH. And you arrive at the bar and say to Favorite Bartender, “I want to get so drunk that I don’t remember my own name” and he says, “I can help you with that” as he pours 16oz of Tempranillo. It’s not even that much of a story except to say that I spent a solid week telling myself that I was ok physically and have my health and then I’d pop a Klonopin because health is relative. Now it’s over, lessons have been learned and I’m ready to get into the new year but first thing’s first:

Did you watch the Golden Globes Sunday night? No matter but if you did you saw that Idris Elba won best actor for the BBC series Luther. And then I went on and on (in my head, of course) about all of the things I’d like to do to Stringer Bell.

I’m in a coffee shop right now fanning myself because damn, y’all. Just damn.

Which brings me to a discussion I had with colleagues as to who you’d do. You know DO. In the horizontal fashion. I’m usually just a casual observer: I see an actor or anyone for that matter, remark on just how cute/handsome/OH MY GOD LET’S HAVE BABIES they are and then move on about my day. But being forced to really think about who I find totally do-able was far more difficult than I thought it would be. Don’t you love how seriously I take this? Much like everything else in my life who you want to sleep with requires deep thought, concentration and perhaps a Pro/Con list.

Without further ado, here are the dudes (I don’t know how I ended up with only dudes but whatever) I’d…um…yeah:

1. Common
2. Idris Elba
3. Mark Wahlberg
4. Colin Firth
5. James Franco/Mark Ruffalo

Honorable mentions: Bradley Cooper, Salma Hayek, Jake Gyllenhal, Robert Downey, Jr.

Posted in Listy | 6 Comments